Dear Lordy. This is the Match date that brought the imminence of creating this blog to a head. It’s a long account, but worth the read.
So this guy and I arrange to meet at 7:30 for cocktails. At 7:45 I texted him because I couldn’t find him at the bar and he responded that he was mistakenly at the bar next door. As I eagerly watched the front door for him to enter, he traipsed in and my gay-dar went off. When he opened his mouth to say hello, I immediately thought that if they ever need a Nathan Lane voice-double for the making of The Birdcage 2, this guy would be a shoe-in. His nicely coiffed hair and glowing skin didn’t help persuade me much either. My head started reeling and I was trying to quickly figure out what the heck was going on. It’s obvious that this man prefers men. Am I on a hidden camera show?! My manners trump common sense and I find myself ordering another beer as he orders a Jack & Diet (guess I'll be the one killing spiders in this relationship). We proceed to have a couple more cocktails (he doesn’t offer to pay for any of mine) and it comes out that on his last Match date the girl questioned his sexual preference within the first 20 minutes. He was telling me that he was so shocked and hurt, so of course I had to be like, “OMG, that’s awful, how rude, etc” but I am thinking, “ding, ding, because you are!” in my head.
He then tells me that he was the front desk manager of fancy salon for many years (great products, got some at Sundance a few years ago) and that most of his friends work in that field. He now works as an admin or “secretary” (as he called it). There were several awkward silences, especially after he caressed my shoulder and told me what a beautiful smile I had. It was like Bobby Trendy saying he wants to build you a log cabin. Meanwhile the bartender was chuckling the whole time. When my date got up to take a bathroom break, she and two other dudes at the bar chimed in that he was clearly gay. His main topics of conversation included the following: he’s a season pass holder to Disneyland and likes to go down a few times a month to trade Disney pins with the cast members, he collects Star Trek figurines and really thinks people who keep them in their original packaging are lame – they are meant to be taken out and played with, and he has outfitted his apartment with his female guests in mind – he wanted to give them a space to put their purses so he bought a cubby hole bookshelf from Ikea for that express purpose.
I wanted to end it so badly, I kept trying to think of an out – but he kept ordering drinks (for himself) and I was stuck in my “be a nice person” mode. Finally at 9:45 I was like, “I have to go” and to my horror he insisted on walking me to my car. This is where it gets good. Being that is was a bit nippy outside, he whipped out a bomber jacket that he had cleverly hidden up until this point. On the back it read,“Tales from the Crypt” and had some fancy embroidered character on it- remember that show from like 10 yrs ago?! On the front, where a name might be, he had an assortment of Disney and Star Trek pins – NO JOKE!!! He leaned in for a hug/kiss, so I gave him a quick side hug and bolted.
So this guy and I arrange to meet at 7:30 for cocktails. At 7:45 I texted him because I couldn’t find him at the bar and he responded that he was mistakenly at the bar next door. As I eagerly watched the front door for him to enter, he traipsed in and my gay-dar went off. When he opened his mouth to say hello, I immediately thought that if they ever need a Nathan Lane voice-double for the making of The Birdcage 2, this guy would be a shoe-in. His nicely coiffed hair and glowing skin didn’t help persuade me much either. My head started reeling and I was trying to quickly figure out what the heck was going on. It’s obvious that this man prefers men. Am I on a hidden camera show?! My manners trump common sense and I find myself ordering another beer as he orders a Jack & Diet (guess I'll be the one killing spiders in this relationship). We proceed to have a couple more cocktails (he doesn’t offer to pay for any of mine) and it comes out that on his last Match date the girl questioned his sexual preference within the first 20 minutes. He was telling me that he was so shocked and hurt, so of course I had to be like, “OMG, that’s awful, how rude, etc” but I am thinking, “ding, ding, because you are!” in my head.
He then tells me that he was the front desk manager of fancy salon for many years (great products, got some at Sundance a few years ago) and that most of his friends work in that field. He now works as an admin or “secretary” (as he called it). There were several awkward silences, especially after he caressed my shoulder and told me what a beautiful smile I had. It was like Bobby Trendy saying he wants to build you a log cabin. Meanwhile the bartender was chuckling the whole time. When my date got up to take a bathroom break, she and two other dudes at the bar chimed in that he was clearly gay. His main topics of conversation included the following: he’s a season pass holder to Disneyland and likes to go down a few times a month to trade Disney pins with the cast members, he collects Star Trek figurines and really thinks people who keep them in their original packaging are lame – they are meant to be taken out and played with, and he has outfitted his apartment with his female guests in mind – he wanted to give them a space to put their purses so he bought a cubby hole bookshelf from Ikea for that express purpose.
I wanted to end it so badly, I kept trying to think of an out – but he kept ordering drinks (for himself) and I was stuck in my “be a nice person” mode. Finally at 9:45 I was like, “I have to go” and to my horror he insisted on walking me to my car. This is where it gets good. Being that is was a bit nippy outside, he whipped out a bomber jacket that he had cleverly hidden up until this point. On the back it read,“Tales from the Crypt” and had some fancy embroidered character on it- remember that show from like 10 yrs ago?! On the front, where a name might be, he had an assortment of Disney and Star Trek pins – NO JOKE!!! He leaned in for a hug/kiss, so I gave him a quick side hug and bolted.
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